IF CHURCH WERE MORE LIKE BASEBALL:
1. Pastors would flip their water bottles after knocking a sermon “out of the park” and slowly jog off stage.
2. Worship Directors would be doused with iced Gatorade after particularly good Easter services.
3. Preacher’s would have a “walk up” song.
4. Congregations would do the wave when the sermon got a bit slow.
5. ATTENDANCE ABOVE REPLACEMENT (AAR) would be a major metric when determining Sr. Pastor’s salaries.
6. Pastors and staffs would communicate during streamed and televised church services with their bibles covering their mouths so Satan doesn’t steal the signs.
7. Relief preachers would come in to finish sermons when the starting preacher begins to fade.
8. People would dream of sitting in the front row and perhaps catch a pick or a drumstick that slips from a musician’s hand.
9. Services would last three hours compounded by all the late service Praise Band substitutions.
10. The loyal would respond after a weak Christmas Eve service, “Wait until next year!”
11. People would begin arriving long after the service starts and leave before it ends… WAIT! Perhaps church IS like baseball!
Rev. Shane L. Bishop is the Sr. Pastor of Christ Church in Fairview Heights, Illinois.